Surviving the grocery-store checkout lane

A trip to the grocery store can be an exciting journey into another culture, and Helsinki is no exception. Sure, there are practices that exist here that we don't follow in the states. For example, we are not accustomed to weighing our own produce and sticking a price label on it. And even though we are warned of this practice before we arrive, we occasionally forget or are fooled. The embarrassment is usually brief, depending on how quickly and silently a store clerk will run back to a scale to do what you should have done.

The dividing bar ritual at the checkout lane was something about which I was not warned, however. I suppose it is an international practice to place a dividing bar (a long, plastic bar shaped so that it will not roll) within easy reach of customers who need to separate their groceries on the checkout conveyor belt. But the ritual here differs from the way it is kept in the states. The person handling the dividing bar makes a social statement. Here is how it works:

Helsinki: After a customer in front of you places his or her groceries on the conveyor belt, that customer puts the dividing bar down after the groceries to keep your stuff separate. The Finn is saying: "I am helping you so that you don't have to bother. It is my turn and thus my responsibility. We live together in harmony." If you fail to put the dividing bar down after your groceries are placed, any customer behind you looks a little miffed at your lack of social responsibility. Or maybe because that customer now has to put down two bars!

America:  After a customer in front of you places his or her groceries on the conveyor belt, you put the dividing bar down in front of your groceries to keep your stuff separate. You are saying: "Don't worry; I won't let my stuff get mixed into yours. By watching out for my stuff I am also watching out for yours." At that point the two total stranger Americans may start a conversation and become best buddies for a few fleeting moments -- but that is another point altogether. If you fail to put the dividing bar down in front of your groceries, the customer in front looks at you as if you were ready to trespass on his or her lawn. And that's why we use fences and dividing bars. But that blunder doesn't necessarily stifle the beginning of a random conversation, of course.

So now I perform my checkout lane social responsibility in Helsinki with a grace that relieves customers behind me. At least until the time the clerk has to run back to a scale to do what I should have done. 

Do not hold a door open for a Finn

Never hold a door open for someone in Finland. No, that's not quite right; it just may seem that way at first. Just don't make it obvious. Finns are attentive in social situations when several people are going one after the other through a public door. But there is a Finnish way of not acknowledging fellow door users. In Helsinki, it is very acceptable to delay a door for someone else. In fact, just like in the states, it would be considered rude to go through a door and let it close upon a person following you. However, in Helsinki, you should never acknowledge the person walking behind you through the door. No turn of the head is allowed. This is not the United States, after all. Do not even consider fleeting eye contact unless you wish to be mistaken for a simpleton who lacks social skills and does not respect the privacy of others. Maybe an American. You somehow have to know when a person is walking behind you (the Finns seem to have this power) so that when you go through a door, you swing the door open a bit wider or let go of the door a bit later so that it is still somewhat open for your follower. It takes some practice. After I tired of the surprise of Finns after they noticed I slowed down, held the door, and nearly looked at them, I began to practice this procedure. It is all in the physics:

1. Plot the trajectories of all people walking around you so that you know with your special radar when one might closely follow you through a door. You may have to predict several possible patterns.
2. Determine your speed and the speed of your nearest follower. Age and weight are factors.
3. Adjust your speed accordingly so that you go quickly through the door without having to keep it open for a follower -- or, if this strategy fails, slow down discreetly so that you cross the doorway and masterfully swing the door so that a follower does not have to start from scratch to open it.
4. If you have gone through this door before, you have the advantage of knowing the door's weight and closing speed. No need to guess. Add this knowledge to your equation.

Of course, in the states, not acknowledging a fellow door user is considered boorish. American strangers often become best friends based on door interactions. In Helsinki, if you hold a door open for a person and acknowledge that person, you have done a very, very special favor. That person becomes somewhat embarrassed by your extravagant gesture and at a loss as to how to return the favor. Please be kind to Finns: do not put them in awkward situations by practicing American door etiquette on them. Even if you do not acknowledge a fellow Finnish door user for whom you have delayed the door, listen carefully. You will most often hear a very nice "Kiitos" (Thank you) directed your way in a subtle -- but grateful -- voice. Your gesture has been appreciated, and a subtle social pact maintained.

How to prepare yourself for future hockey games

Attending one professional Finnish hockey game does not make me an expert, and I admit that any conclusions I draw on that one game may be based on anomalies that may never happen again. But I have nothing else to go on. So to make sure that I survive that next hockey game in good order, here are the rules that I have so far.

1. If you have a ticket for the 3rd level and you ask a concession stand worker on the 1st floor where your seat is, you will be pitied because obviously you do not understand this complicated 1-2-3 level construction of the arena. Avoid such pity by wandering around until you stumble upon your level and seat.
2. Even if the 15,000-seat arena is filled by only 6,000 fans (only a handful who have found their way to the 3rd level), your seat assignment is not "suggested seating" as in the US; your seat assignment is where you sit the entire game. Perhaps even longer. Sets of strangers thrown together by fate will practically sit in each other's laps rather than spread to any open seating.
3. You do not look at or address your new companions because, well, that is just not done. However, you know by your Finnish experiences that they would take off their shoes and give them to you if you were in need. But an event needs to precipitate such gestures.
4. Keep your shoes on at a hockey game. And do not put your feet on back of an empty seat in front of you until well into the 3rd period when such behavior is tolerated.
5. Do not load up with concessions before taking your seat. Concession food is the same as in the US, but most seems to be consumed in the concourse areas. Wait until the 3rd period. The magical last period. Concessions seem to be allowable in the seating area in the 3rd period, and that is the moment to consume a soft drink, if absolutely necessary. During the 3rd period you can also put your feet on the seat in front of you.
6. If you choose to eat popcorn, do not let any drop. In the US, popcorn seems to be everywhere -- on the floor, under the seats, on the seats, in your clothes. It is like edible confetti. But in Helsinki popcorn is eaten as carefully as caviar. Perhaps because each small box of popcorn costs many euros. It is precious. And remember rule #5.
7. Get used to the fact that everyone knows much better than you the lyrics to the English-language rock song snippets played at every available moment when the puck is not being slapped around on the ice. Do not try to sing along.
8. Because legroom in stadium seating is an unfamiliar concept on any continent, leaving your seat while your row mates are still sitting is difficult. Solution: Do not leave your seat until intermission between periods, unlike the US where spectators seem to be encouraged to wander instead of sitting and must have more desperate bathroom needs than Finns. Perhaps because we don't adhere to rule #5.
9. When someone on your team knocks a fellow on the other team off his feet, you need to cheer. When the reverse happens, you need to complain. Hey, sounds familiar! Just like home. Enjoy this international custom.
10. You may not know what the announcer is saying, but if your image is shown on the large scoreboard during a break in the hockey action, it is required that someone next to you tap you on the shoulder and direct your gaze to the scoreboard. And "Kiss Cam" needs no translation. Be ready for it.