You have a 50/50 chance to succeed

I would take 50/50 odds at the casino. Anytime. But those are not good odds to accept for performing what I consider basic daily functions, some of which I have been accustomed to performing for many, many years. Opening doors in Helsinki is a problem for me. I am speaking literally. Doors. Those things that let me go from one space into another space. I thought I had mastered their function long ago and have since become used to simply opening them without having to pause and think. Now I seem to be back at the learning stage.

Doors are very binary: they open one way and close the opposite way (I am excluding "swinging" doors here, because I have had no difficulties with them yet). And it's not that I can't read "Push" or "Pull" in Finnish or in Swedish on those doors that are labeled; I can. But not all doors are labeled, and I did not realize how intuitively I navigated through unlabeled doors before arriving here. So it is somewhat embarrassing to be the first in a group of Finns reaching a door -- and I can't seem to operate the door. I push when I should pull; I pull when I should push. 50/50 odds are not that good, I have discovered. I imagine the Finns behind me thinking (because they are certainly not saying anything out loud): "Where is this man from? He seems to be having an issue with this door. But let's stand here patiently and silently so as not to harass this technologically-challenged fellow. Perhaps he has some sort of disability or psychological disorder."

It must be a mixture of visual clues that counter what I have learned in the US. Many doors in my new environment look identical on either side; both sides have a handle, neither has a push plate, but only one direction is allowed. Do I turn the handle and pull? Do I turn the handle and push? I have mastered the turning the handle part, which is step #1, but I tend to fail at step #2.

My strategies to avoid being embarrassed by a door:

• practice with an important door when no one is around and memorize its function
• always approach a new door without witnesses in order to avoid social pressure; flip a coin and choose push or pull
• follow, never lead, a group approaching a door
• if leading a group up to a door is inevitable, pretend to get an important phone call and step aside for a moment to answer, and then follow

I refuse to accept defeat and will someday be an expert door user in Helsinki. Finns will no longer hesitate to follow me into the next room.