When is it OK to be loud on the tram?

I have read that Finns are generally quieter on public transportation than…well, just about anybody. And I have found that to be true, for the most part. Tram users most often mind their own business and stare away in the distance or read something. But there are certain groups that are allowed to be noticeably loud on a tram.

Toddlers: Children who have learned to talk or to sing don't yet have any sense of embarrassment when they want to verbalize their thoughts on a crowded tram. The other day, a mother with a small boy in a stroller came on the tram. For several stops the young boy proudly sang the Finnish equivalent of the A-B-C song (the one that sounds like our version, or maybe ours sounds like theirs, and ends "and now I know my ABCs" but in Finnish, of course). No one paid attention except for me, and I almost had the Finnish ABCs down, but the mother took her child off too soon. Loud children are cute. Except the crying ones.

Teens: They come on in groups laughing and giggling; they sit together and continue to chatter. Even if I could understand quickly spoken Finnish I could not make sense of what these teens find so fun to discuss because they spout bits of words and phrases that mean something to them but nothing to us others. We are not in on this conversation. And then they all jump off the tram together as their conversation continues. Loud teens are not cute, but you have to admire the joy they have with their friends.

Tourists: Tourists talk to each other in their outdoor voices because they are perplexed. Most of their sentences start with "where" (Where are we? Where does this tram go? Where do we get off? etc.). Tourists also often stand even when seats are available, so their voices carry well. English is a common tourist language. And nothing carries better than English on a tram full of Finns. Tourists are not cute but they are funny, and they provide Good Samaritan opportunities at which the Finns excel.

Drunks: Yes, drunks ride the trams occasionally, especially at certain times on certain days through certain areas. And it is not so hard to remain drunk on a tram because riders think no more about popping open a can of beer than they would a can of Diet Coke. Diet Coke may make people talkative, but beer is a sure ticket to being loquacious. Drunks fortunately prefer talking to themselves, but sometimes one will sit next to me and engage me in a loud monologue. I say "monologue" because every time a drunk wants to talk to me, he does not mind if I just listen. Drunks are not cute, but they are harmless if you just make signs of agreeing with what they say.

Mobile-phone users: Every third person who gets on a tram receives a phone call. It must be a Finnish quota or something. The most commonly heard word on a tram is "Moi" (Hello). Then the mobile-phone user is obliged to tell the caller that he or she is on a tram at such-and-such a stop. After the required opening statements are made, the conversation proceeds as if no one else were on the tram. Finns are just like Americans in this way: mobile-phone conversations are carried out in a louder voice than normal. I feel the embarrassment of the other Finns who can understand everything about the phone conversation. Finns never want to get into your personal life unless expressly invited, but on the tram they are forced into familiarity with a stranger's business. Mobile-phone users are not cute, but they do make you wonder if the unseen caller is also on a tram somewhere. You can create funny scenarios in your mind. Mobile-phone users at least make a boring tram trip a bit more interesting.

So those are the types of riders allowed to be loud on the tram. If you don't fall into one of those groups, you must stare away in the distance or read something.