Trammit!

I am already pretty good at train etiquette in Finland, especially since I had practice years earlier in Germany and France. Trains are trains: ticket, track, number, etc. You get on, you get off. You would think that such experience would transfer to using the tram in Helsinki. I had a tram-awful day yesterday for my very first tram day, I and am not afraid to admit it. I learned my lesson(s) and will move on.

Lessons:

• Know your tram schedules. Although the tram stop is almost right outside my door (I could throw a rock and hit it), my obsessive-compulsive nature forced to me to go out and wait a full 15 minutes in the very chilly Helsinki morning before getting on a tram. Now you would think that 15 minutes is not much time, but realize that the tram comes by about every 15 minutes. So the click-clack of the last one should have been ringing in my ears before I even left my door. And Helsinkians seem to know their tram schedules so that they don't need to stand around needlessly. Not much to do at a tram stop unless you want to read the tram schedule. Ooops, too late!
• Don't build up high expectations of how a tram should sound when you are riding it. You hear the click-clack when you are outside the tram. Inside the tram you hear a sound that you will associate with what you remember as a kid when you played with those electric model race cars. But then you will realize that the common denominator is electricity, so you can imagine yourself riding in a model race car (one of your childhood fantasies; admit it), so I suppose this is a draw.
• Do not attempt to get off at the point where the tram changes drivers. You can't. And this point is often 20 feet from where you are supposed to get off. It can be confusing, especially if you fear being transported all the way to the next stop (oh well, maybe some 50 yards, not like to the next city). But only the tram driver can get off and his/her replacement on at these designated points. You need to go another 20 feet before disembarking.
• Just like a train, you can pay when you get on the tram if you don't have a ticket. But don't assume that the fare is what you paid for the exact same route (in reverse) because, perhaps, you bought your 1st fare from a machine. So if you have math phobias and math-performance anxiety about having to count in public with people lining up behind you, it does you no good to have your exact amount ready in advance. Just make sure you have plenty of change, two free hands to bungle your coins around, and a cheery "Kiitos" to say to the driver when your painstaking math-centric challenge is completed.
• Take your ticket that you just bought from the tram driver. You may not need it again unless you plan to transfer (except maybe as proof that you can count). But if you don't take your ticket, the driver will become very worried about your mental condition, as if you were walking off without your passport or residence permit and just didn't care. Unacceptable behavior.
• Do not stand up to get off the tram until you are sure that you have passed the last stop before your stop. If you do, you end up standing while the door opens in front of you (thanks to the driver), which remains open until the driver finally realizes that you are obsessive compulsive and have probably been standing near the door for several stops. You will catch the driver's "Really?" expression in the rear-view mirror. Try to descend with some dignity when you reach your stop.

But, all in all, my day was successful if you consider that I got from point A to point B and back again. And today will be a better tram day, I just know it.